Toppers Pizza Trades for Bill Hall

The Milwaukee Brewers Triple A affiliate has agreed to trade Bill Hall to Toppers softball for select menu items, as part of a weight training/gaining regimen. The deal includes only traditional pizzas, as Bill Hall does not bring enough to the table to warrant house pizzas. Requests for taco and pepperonistix were denied as well, replaced by original breadstix and no sauces in the box.

"We feel Bill Hall will be a decent contributor to our Tuesday night men's league in Milwaukee," Toppers franchisee and team manager John Kubisiak said. "There are many adjustments we do have in store for him however. He will still only face left-handed pitching. He will not be allowed to stick that monstrous chew in his mouth during games either. We feel it hurts his concentration. Also, he must not rest his bat on his shoulders or he will receive a team fine. Players will be looking for him to pull, so he also only allowed to go to right field. Anything to the left of center will also result in a team fine."

Bill Hall could not be reached for comment, which also resulted in a team fine.